Monday, July 16, 2007

ANT ATTACK

Our second trial of home maintenance has come crawling across the floorboards in mass to harass and feed off our fear and pancake mix...


X
1 Billion
__________
our pantry


It all started last Thursday. Phil made lunch. I got the chips out of the pantry and set them on the table. Soon, a crumb from my delectable grilled ham and cheese sandwich started to move. This is not characteristic of Phil's cooking. To our dismay, about seven TINY ants had joined us. "NO!" said I. Quickly, we whisked the plates from the table and Kitchen Lysol-ed the entirety of the area. Pleased with our quick extermination skills, we finished our unaffected lemonade on the couch.

Naive. We were but children in the cruel world of insect extermination. The next day, I opened the pantry to find the source of the original seven.
"NO!" said I. At least 15 million ants had infiltrated everything: oreos, pancake mix, even the brave Captain Crunch had surrendered. We removed and threw away much of the food goods. A quick run to Target supplied us with enough Ant Raid to rid the world of these beasts. While I sprayed, Phil insulted the ants in case there were any survivors; he told them they were ugly, no one liked them, and to go home and tell their friends. Having killed and demoralized them, we thought our work was done.

This morning, I opened up the pantry door- swung it open with a carefree flick of the wrist. Having been ant free for days and having sealed up my oreos, I thought...I thought it would all be over. My bubble burst onto an ant interstate. They've attacked again. Chewed into a sealed box of Ritz crackers and made it a little ant mansion. I've permanently relocated the food. I've Raided. Today we go back to the drawing board for more strategies. This is war.


5 comments:

Lloyd and Marci said...

You need to get Terra (or Terro). It is a liquid that you put out on a piece of cardboard which is provided with the bottle. Then the ants come and eat it and take it back with them and it kills them all. That's the only thing we know that works. Good luck!

Nana and Grandpa said...

I read your blog on ants. It ought to be published somewhere. That would make a great children's book. I love you.

Unknown said...

Hey guys! I (Shannon) gotta tell you, I'm getting to the point where the reason I get up in the morning is to read your blog! Good luck with those ants. We got coons. Brent is taking care of them though, if you know what I mean...lock and load baby!!

Brandt and Steph said...

There is a bigger issue here. Does time fit inside an ant?

erin. said...

whoaaa... I saw one such plethora of ants while I was taking out the trash today, but they are considerably less offending when they're carrying off the neighbors' trash... and not your dry goods! YIKES!